Be careful what you wish for
by MLaw
Summary: Napoleon and Illya are stuck in a cabin in the middle of no where. Originally posted on section7mfu, live journal in honor of David McCallum's 80th birthday. pre-saga


It was cold for this time of year, not bone-numbingly, but still cold enough for a September night. It wasn't even the first day of autumn and a frost was predicted, with temperatures dropping to the forties the local weather forecast indicated on the little transistor radio they'd found.

Napoleon and Illya had taken refuge in a log cabin, somewhere in the middle of nowhere; they'd been pursued by a pair of gorillas who were trying to get back the blueprints they'd stolen.

Another new T.H.R.U.S.H. device drawn up to help them take over the world.

"Will they never give up?" The Russian asked as he dug through the well-stocked cabinets looking for something to eat. There was an impressive collection of canned-goods,stuffing mix, cake mixes ready for the taking. In a small refrigerator, there were condiments, and a frozen turkey breast.

Nearby there was a small propane stove and a sink….all the comforts of home. There was even a bathroom with a shower and commode, all made workable by a large tank of water out back.

"Whomever owns this hunting cabin likes their creature comforts," Napoleon remarked as he opened up a sleeper sofa. There were also two high back leather chairs that were in pristine condition and above the fireplace was the trophy head of a deer with an impressive twelve-point rack. On the floor in front of the hearth was a bear skin rug as well.

"Hunting season here doesn't start yet, so I doubt the owner will be dropping by. Though he must have been here recently to stock up on supplies,"Illya noted, seeing a small barrel of chestnuts beside the fire.

"Hmm...why not?" He muttered, tossing a sizeable handful into a cast iron pot that hung above the flames. It had been a long time since he last had hot roasted chestnuts.

Napoleon pulled the turkey breast from the freezer, setting it in a sinkful of water to defrost..

"I hope our host won't mind, but just incase we'll leave money to replace what we have eaten...da?"

"Agreed," Illya smiled.

Once the turkey was defrosted, Napoleon set the temperature on the oven and put put their meal in to roast; he set about making stuffing with the boxed mix, adding some spices and a few of the chestnuts.

As the cabin became warm, he watch his partner's eyes begin to droop, as his head nodded.

"Hey chum, lay down. I'll wake you when dinner is ready."

Illya mildly protested, knowing he was dog-tired.

" I know you're pretty useless in the kitchen, so this way you'll be out of my way."

"This time Kuryakin gave no argument and curled up on the bed in front of the fire. He was sound asleep within minutes, and was dreaming of a delicious feast complete with cake for dessert.

"Illya wake up, foods ready."

His blue eyes popped open immediately, and blinked rapidly as he sat up.

"Smells wonderful my friend."

"Dig in tovarisch," Napoleon grinned.

He'd sliced the turkey breast, and surrounding it were plates with cranberry sauce, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy and asparagus.

"A veritable feast,"

The two hungry men didn't waste any time on small talk as they stuffed themselves.

As they pushed their plates forward, they both declared they were full; that was a surprising declaration for Illya.

"Come on buddy, there's always room for….chocolate cake isn't there?"

"There is always room for chocolate," Illya laughed. "So you prepared this feast as well as cake? I declare Napoleon, you will make the right woman very happy someday."

"The cake was a necessity my friend….did you hope I'd forget that it's your birthday?"

"Ohhhh," Illya sounded disappointed, "Yes I had hoped you would have."

"Not a chance chum. I wish it could be a better one instead of being holed up here in this cabin."

Illya flashed him a threatening look but that changed as soon as Napoleon brought the cake into view. It was a little lopsided, but covered in dark chocolate icing with a single candle set in the middle.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday tovarisch….happy birthday to you," Napoleon sang in his usual off key voice. "Okay chum, make a wish and blow out the candle."

"I will if you promise no more singing...better still, you blow it out as I am sure you will come up with a much more interesting wish than me I."

Napoleon shrugged. "It's your birthday so it that's what you want, you've got it." He took a quick breath and closing his eyes, Solo blew out the candle.

A moment later there were voices outside, and both men grabbed their guns, ducking behind the chairs as the door opened.

I stepped two lovely women, one blonde and one brunette.

"Oh my goodness,"the brunette asked,"What are you doing in my cabin? In her hands she held a double-barrel shotgun.

"Umm, sorry Miss,"Napoleon smiled, tuning on the charm,"but our car broke down and we needed to find shelter before the storm."

"What storm," the blonde asked.

"The one that is raging in his heart...and elsewhere, " Illya interjected, knowing what his partners next line would be.

"Ewww, you're cute,"the blonde said to Illya.

"Hmm, and it is my birthday," he smiled as the voluptuous woman, apparently called Inga sidled up beside him.

"Is this what you wished for," he whispered to Solo.

"What do you think….chum. Happy Birthday." He hadn't seen his partner smile like that in quite a long time.


End file.
